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You're Weak for Caring Too Much:Learning Emotional Detachment

Every day we have problems to deal with, whether it is small or significant, we all can control how we deal with them. It is easy to remain calm when things go as planned, but what happens when the train derails from the tracks? What do you do? Do you sit there and panic or do you remain cool, calm, and collected? It is best to be calm because when we act emotional, sometimes we lose touch with our logical side, and our focus goes out the window. For example, if you are in a debate and the individual you are debating with says something completely idiotic and it strikes a chord with you, what do you do? Do you lose your wits and begin insulting them and raising your voice or do you deconstruct their point from a logical basis and stay levelheaded? Most people would begin throwing insults, instead of attacking the point at hand. Those who can properly deconstruct false points, without getting irritated have an understanding of emotional detachment. They understand that acting on your emotions does not help and doing so prevents one from operating effectively.

What is emotional detachment? The emotional detachment I am referring to is a type of mental assertiveness that allows people to maintain their boundaries and psychic integrity when faced with the emotional demands of another person or group of person according to Those who can master emotional detachment, have a mental edge in life over those who have not.

How do you learn emotional detachment? You learn it by how you deal with everyday situations. The next time you are being berated or find yourself in argument just keep trudging on and focus on the matter at hand. I know it is hard to not fly off the handle and retaliate, but you must detach yourself from those emotions and not let the other individual break you mentally. You keep doing that every time there is a problem, and eventually it becomes second nature. At that point, most difficult situations should not make you act out of character. You will slip up sometimes, I know I do, that just means confirms we are human. We are emotional creatures, however that does not mean we act like a bunch of babies when things do not go our way. We must learn to contain ourselves in the face of adversity. That is why it is very important to master emotional detachment.

Some people are so caught up in the physical aspect of life and they forget the mental side. I like to believe that life is 90 percent mental, and 10 percent physical. Building up your mental endurance allows you to take on the toughest challenges of life. If you are not able to mentally endure, how will you survive all that life throws at you? It will be exceedingly difficult to navigate through the world successfully without the mental toughness. The one with a strong will, and mental fortitude will push through and reap the rewards in the end.

How did I develop my ability to emotionally detach? I did it by meditating and trying to see the bigger picture in all situations. I noticed when I conducted myself in a head steady manner, situations began going in my favor. Over time I internalized this mindset, thus preventing others from getting in my head. As a black man in America, we have targets on our back, and some people may try to bait us into overreacting in certain situations. It is important when racially insensitive comments are directed at us that we do not immediately retaliate in a barbaric manner. Instead we should keep calm, say the correct things, and laugh in the face of the oppressors when they try and knock us off our pivot. In conclusion, keeping your head straight goes an exceptionally long way, and it will allow you to win the long game in life.

Joseph Enwerji

Second Year Undergrad Student

Rutgers University

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